If somebody comes to you with a problem, don’t try and solve it. When they finish talking ask them if there is anything else? Listen and support rather than being a trouble shooter. You can also apply this to yourself, by way of treating yourself like a person you care for and are responsible for. Often we don’t give ourselves the time and credit we would give to somebody else, as though we matter less then them, and lose trust in ourselves in the process. It’s a scientific fact that being kind to someone else can produce a neurochemical called Oxytocin, which feels good. It’s good for them, it’s good for us, it’s good for those around us. Spread the love, spread appreciation, tell people they matter, do it now! Maybe you are a Boss and don’t show your staff enough appreciation, but are quick to point out when their output is low? Perhaps you are a spouse who takes their partner for granted, or a friend who is just not there enough? Perhaps you are a Teacher who doesn’t encourage students as much as you could? Maybe you do loads for others but nothing for yourself? Worth having a think, you could make all the difference for someone and not even know it.
Mental Health is a very important subject, and as it gains time in the spotlight, more and more people are becoming aware of the issues many people are facing. There are articles everywhere about how to recognise the signs, what people need to do if they are suffering etc, and I thought it would be useful to write about how you can help people more even if you are unaware they are suffering. The truth is, for every person who speaks out and seeks help, there is another who stays silent. How often have you had a day where you felt really low, and never said a word to anybody?
We can be too quick to judge, too quick to point out an error, and not nearly quick enough to point out something we appreciate. If somebody does something you like, tell them. It doesn’t matter how little, just let them know. How much has your day been brightened by a nice word from somebody else? Many of us say there isn’t enough love in the world, and yet what are we doing to contribute to that, to tip the scales a tiny bit towards the side of good? We can all make a difference in our small part of the world, if we look outward instead of being consumed by what’s within.
In my job I see far too many people who have suffered through a lack of encouragement, and ended up feeling as though they don’t matter. A few kind words on a regular basis from a parent or a friend may have made all the difference. Communicating via Apps hasn’t helped as relationships become less personal and telling someone over text doesn’t mean half as much as being told in person. Pick up the phone, pay someone a visit, show somebody you care about them. You don’t know how dark that persons’ day is, and you could make it all the brighter with very little effort.
Written by – Marc Freeman.
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